


Misreading the Signs

by GeekLibrarian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, angsty, discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLibrarian/pseuds/GeekLibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After what feels like a failed roomate and hunting partnership expierence with the boys, Y/N decides to go back to hunt alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misreading the Signs

So it had happened all over again. You stood there, clean blade on you hand, watching the decapitated vamp fall to the floor. You inhaled deeply and blew your hair out of your face violently, turning around and walking away without even looking back at Dean. You had had enough, as soon as you get to the motel, you were leaving for good.

At first, working with the Winchesters was fun, jokes and happy nights after work, lots of action and killing during the day (and some nights too). You had teamed up three or four times in a period of two months, and after that last hunt with the water spirits they had asked you to join in as a permanent member of the team, measuring pros and cons, you ended accepting the offer and moved to the bunker, if moving meant having an extra pair of clothes and a towel of your own hanging in your own bathroom.

You were happy. You got to spend entire days in your pajamas watching a movie and relaxing, or training, or even cooking. The hunts ended faster ‘cause you were better rested, not to mention the enormous amount of info that you could access thanks to the Men of Letters archives, not only books, but files and films and records. Hanging with the boys was amazing too, Dean was so much fun and always was up for a movie or TV show marathon, a training session or just chilling up with a cup of coffee listening to good music; and Sam was always ready for a trivia quiz, sharing fun facts from the research and long talks at night with a cup of tea. Having them both around felt nice, you felt loved for the first time in ages and they were such good friends.

But the truth was that you were beginning to fell for Dean. You knew it, you knew the signs. And at the same time, things started to go south with him; he wasn’t around so much anymore, most of the time locked up in his room, not wanting to share any kind of time with you, but at the same time not allowing you to go out alone. At first you had thought it was just your imagination, and talked to Sam about it, he couldn’t tell there was something different with his brother so you let it slip your mind; but as the days go by even Sam began to notice the cold treatment.

It destroyed you. You tried to make things right, to talk to him, you even cooked him a pie, but everything was useless. And it started to affect you in every way, because you were restless and lacking appetite, so you were weaker and slower, and that wasn’t good on hunts were Dean always ended up saving your neck or killing everything for you just because he could. Hunting wasn’t fun anymore. Travelling wasn’t fun anymore, watching TV wasn’t fun anymore, quizzing wasn’t fun anymore. Being alive wasn’t fun anymore. Your free days you spent on your room, locked up, or in the kitchen talking in whispers to Sam, sometimes he even came to your room with food or a cup of something hot. Maybe you’d make an errand some times, but never alone, of course.

So finally, two nights ago, you had talked to Sam and told him that if in this hunt you didn’t performed or Dean stepped in the way again, you were leaving for good. Because this was no life, Dean clearly didn’t trust you and you just couldn’t help your feelings for him and that was killing you.

_“I’d rather be lonely and capable than this mess I’m right now, Sam.”_

_“Ok.” He’d said sadly “But promise you’ll keep in touch. I will miss you a lot, you know?”_

_“I do, I’ll miss you too. And thank you.”_

You walked towards the car blankly, reliving the entire hunt. You didn’t even know  _where_  he came from. You were doing good, you thought, stealthy and accurate in kicks and punches, more focused than you’ve been in a couple of weeks. You had walked through the entire nest injecting dead man’s blood to every single one of those sons of bitches, allowing Sam and Dean to beat them all faster. It wasn’t until you got to the very last one that you realized that you had run out of blood, but it was ok, you were sharp and draw your blade with a swift move, ready to chop his head off. But you couldn’t. Dean was there, out of the blue, and did it for you.

The ride back was tense. Sam already knew what was coming and couldn’t help to feel sad. You were furious, but Dean seemed to be in another world.

“That was reckless.” He said suddenly. And you couldn’t help to gaze him anger.

“Excuse me?” you almost shouted.

“Running out of blood… he could’ve get to you.”

“No, he couldn’t Dean, because I’m not useless and I was armed.”

“Vamps are fast, Y/N…” he said in a condescending voice, while pulling the car into the parking lot of the motel.

“Oh, for god’s sake! I’M NOT TAKING THIS SHIT FROM YOU!” you screamed, and stormed out of the car, slamming the door only a bit too hard, but not really caring about it.

“What the hell…” Dean got out of the Impala rapidly running after you, leaving Sam alone in the car. He sighed and then decided it was a beautiful night for a walk, now that he was sure there were no threats in the dark, and slowly walked away.

“Y/N! Wait up! Where the hell are you going?”

“Oh! You wanna know! OF COURSE! You can’t even let me go to the bathroom alone!” you shouted back, stopping and turning in your heels “Well I have NEWS FOR YOU! I’m getting the HELL OUT OF HERE! AND I’M DOING IT ALONE!”

You turned again and resumed your stride to your room, slamming the door at your back. Dean hadn’t followed you further, which was a good thing because now you were crying and you couldn’t even find your bags. So you sat on the bed and cried it all out, hands over your face. Deep down, you have been waiting for this hunt to go right so you didn’t have to leave, and now you just couldn’t cope with it. Going back to the motel life, cold water, gritty bed sheets, being alone and unwanted… that was a world you didn’t want to get back to.

There was a soft knock on the door and you could hear Deans voice on the other side.

“Y/N? You there?”

“Go away, Dean” you answered quietly. No more screaming, no more anger, all that was left in you was a giant emptiness and sadness.

“Ok… Just… what did you mean by it?”

“By what, Dean?”

“All that crap about leaving.”

You sighed and wiped your tears while walking towards the door to open. Dean was there, lying on the door frame, looking up and hands in his pockets. He looked gorgeous and you couldn’t suppress the feeling, but he also looked concerned. He gazed at you and you could tell his anger was gone too. You left the door opened and started to pick up your things and stuff them in your duffel bag.

“You don’t really mean it, don’t you?” He asked, still from the door.

“I do. I’m leaving.”

“But… but you can’t go.”

“Watch me!” tears were rolling down your face again, so you stood facing away from him.

“I don’t get it.” That was it.

“You don’t? Really, Dean? You don’t  _get it_?” you could feel the rage coming back, as well as the rest of the tears. You turned around to face him and he stood straighter when he laid his eyes on your red and wet face, angst written all over it. “ _I_  don’t get it. Everything was fine! I thought I had found a home, and suddenly you’re this… this…  _cold bastard_. Shutting me out, not even talking to me? How do you expect me to stay? I can’t stand it anymore, Dean, you don’t trust me, you don’t even  _like_  me, that’s obvious, so why stay?”

“Ok…” he said, stepping forward holding both hand sin front of him as if you were just about to shoot him. “First of all, I do trust you, where did  _that_  came from? And second… what about Sammy?” there was something strange about the way he asked that.

“What about him?” you asked back, resuming your packing.

“You’re just gonna leave him?”

The something in his voice became clear as despise, and it made you face him again.

“We’ve already talked about this, and it’s not like I’m leaving him alone, he’s got you… What does  _he_ has to do with all this anyway?”

“You breaking up with him?”

“ _What_?” Now you were just done. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“You’re dumping him because of me?” now,  _that_ , was guilt.

“I’m not dumping him, Dean… Because Sam and I are not together.” You bit your lip as you watched this statement sink in his mind, making him step back again.

“What do you mean,  _not together_?”

“Exactly that, Dean. Sam and I are friends, but nothing more.”

“But, I saw you. You two… in the couch…”

“What couch?” you now rubbed your hands through your face, not sure of what to do or say anymore “What are you talking about, Dean? Sam and I were never together, we never slept together…” and suddenly you remembered. There was that time you two stood awake drinking tea and watching a movie in the bunker, and you both had fell asleep there, in a hug. “Wait… you’re talking about the night we slept in the couch.” Not a question, but an affirmation. “Dean, we just fell asleep. We were watching a movie, we were both tired, we fell asleep. Nothing happened. Nothing ever did!”

There was a silence and for a moment you just looked at each other, but then you moved back to your bed and closed the bag. With a deep breath you lingered for a second, waiting for him to say something else, but he didn’t, so you tossed the bag over your shoulder and headed for the door.

“Y/N…”

“I’m not staying, Dean. It doesn’t matter what you thought. I’m not staying where I’m not trusted.”

“But I do trust you!” he insisted, grabbing you by your arm.

“Oh really? Jumping in front of me all the time, not letting me wander alone, not even let me killing one tiny little vamp… that’s trust?”

“No, that’s…”

“No. It’s not. And I’m not living like that anymore.”

You shook his hand off your arm and walked out the door.

“Please, don’t go.” Something in his voice made you turn around, and you could tell he was in pain. “Please, I do trust you I… I just… Oh god, I feel like an idiot. Y/N, I was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? What from?”

“Life! The universe! Everything!”

“Why? I survived my whole life without you protecting me, why would I need it now?”

“Because…” he was stalling, you could tell. “Because you’re with us now, and… and we’re mayor targets… and…”

“Dean” you let a note of sweetness escape your lips along with his name. Was he trying to say what you thought he was trying to say?

“And because I love you, Y/N.” his eyes fixed on the floor, rubbing the back of his head with one hand, the other in his pocket.

You dropped your bag and almost run the three steps that were separating the two of you and just kissed him. No slight touches, no little smiles. You dropped yourself in his mouth, grabbing him by the neck. He was shocked for half a second but then wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you back. A kiss filled with hunger and lust and a little bit of rage that made your entire body shiver.

You kissed for several minutes, not wanting to part, barely breathing. Outside it was starting to rain and temperature had lowered, but you were safe in his arms. Safe and warm. When you finally parted he let his forehead rest in yours, not smiling and with his eyes shut.

“I’ve loved you since the very beginning. I’m so sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, but I will never forgive myself for making you feel unloved.” He said in a whisper.

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his neck, letting his smell flooding you. “I feel loved now.”

**Author's Note:**

> And Sam got wet.


End file.
